Computer Repair Blog

Computer Repair Blog

Corny Jokes
Jerrold Schiff
http://www.schiffkey.com
She wanted to be a bubble dancer, but her dad said "no soap"
He went to the country to see a barn dance.
Doctor, I often feel like killing myself. What should I do?
"leave it to me"
Any of your friends can become an enemy, but a relative is one from the start.
Madam, this book will cut your housework in half!
Great, I'll take two of them.
Do these stairs take you to the second floor?
No, you'll have to walk.
While you were sick in bed, did your wife read to you?
Yes, my life insurance policy.
Is there a word in the English language that contains all vowels?
Unquestionably.
Always get married in the morning.
That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day.
Old teachers never die.
They just grade away.
"Get me my broker Miss Jones"
"Yes sir, stock or pawn"

I knew I was in trouble... Any time my ex gave me alphabet soup, the letters spelled out "poison"

She was only a taxi driver's daughter, but you sure auto meter.

"So, are you back from your vacation? Feel any change?"
"Not a penny"
"did you find it very expensive at the seashore?"
"yes, even the tide was high"
"i met my wife at a travel bureau. I was looking for a vacation, and she was the last resort"
"no matter how far you travel, you still move only two feet"
====
"Have you ever been to a zoo?.... I mean, as a visitor?"
"can you do something other people can't do?"
"yes, I can read my own handwriting"
no matter how much you move it, writing paper is always stationery
"i once ate a watch"
"wasn't that time-consuming?"
a man lost his watch and found it five blocks away. the watch was still running.
I left my watch upstairs and it ran down.